“We conclude that that younger age is a stronger predictor than alterations in sexual function. It is also possible that sexual problems or a weakening of the emotional rewards from the union are particularly devastating early in a relationship and that an increased care load is most difficult to accept at an age when illness is most unexpected. Women with cervical cancer had an increased risk of divorce of 69% at age 20 years, but this risk was reduced to 19% at 60 years, implying that the effect of cervical cancer on divorce risk decreases with age. The same tendency was seen among men with testicular cancer. The increased risk of divorce was estimated to 34% at 20 years, while it was estimated to fall 16% below the risk of the general population at 60 years.”- Summarising his thoughts on the research, Professor John Smyth of the European Cancer Organisation (ECCO) suggested that sexual counselling would greatly benefit cervical and testicular cancer patients, potentially saving many marriages.
Yes, research suggests that men are more likely to stay with a partner after a cancer diagnosis compared to women.
- A study published in Cancer found that 21% of women with serious illnesses (including cancer) experienced divorce or separation, while only 3% of men did.
- The Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center reported that the divorce/separation rate was 20.8% for female patients and only 2.9% for male patients.
However, there are exceptions:
- Men diagnosed with testicular cancer have a 20% higher risk of divorce.
- Women diagnosed with cervical cancer have a 40% higher divorce risk.
How Cancer Affects Relationships
Cancer doesn’t just affect the person diagnosed—it sends shockwaves through their relationships, emotional well-being, and future plans. Research has shown that the emotional and physical strain of a cancer diagnosis can lead to increased relationship breakdown, especially among younger couples.
Professor John Smyth of the European Cancer Organisation (ECCO) suggests that sexual issues and emotional distance, particularly at a younger age, are major factors driving relationship strain after a cancer diagnosis. For example:
- Women with cervical cancer face a 69% increased risk of divorce at age 20, which drops to 19% by age 60.
- Men with testicular cancer see a 34% higher risk of divorce at age 20, which decreases to 16% below the general population by age 60.
These figures reflect the complex emotional and sexual challenges faced by couples when a serious illness enters the picture. Younger couples, still building their emotional and sexual connection, may struggle more to adapt to these changes.
Men Are Less Likely to Divorce After a Cancer Diagnosis
Interestingly, research consistently shows that men are less likely to leave a partner after a cancer diagnosis than women. A study published in Cancer found that:
- 21% of women with a serious illness experienced divorce or separation, while only 3% of men did.
- Research from the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center reported an overall divorce rate of 11.6% among cancer patients, with a significant difference between genders:
- 20.8% of female cancer patients experienced divorce or separation.
- Only 2.9% of male patients experienced the same.
This pattern may reflect traditional gender roles, where women are often seen as caregivers and are more socially conditioned to provide emotional support during times of illness.
However, certain cancers—like cervical and testicular cancer—stand out for their higher divorce rates. A Norwegian study found that:
- Women with cervical cancer had a 40% higher chance of divorce.
- Men with testicular cancer had a 20% higher chance of divorce.
Why Testicular Cancer Hits Men Harder
Testicular cancer is the most common cancer in young men aged 20 to 34 in the UK, with around 2,400 new cases each year. Several factors increase a man’s risk of testicular cancer, including:
- Being white.
- Having undescended testicles as a child.
- A family history of testicular cancer.
- Living with HIV or AIDS.
The physical and emotional changes following treatment for testicular cancer—such as loss of sexual function, body image issues, and fertility problems—can create emotional distance and affect intimate relationships.
Many men struggle with the emotional fallout of testicular cancer in silence, partly due to societal pressures around masculinity and vulnerability. The reluctance to open up about emotional struggles can lead to feelings of isolation, even within a relationship.
Why Young Men Struggle More with Caregiving After Cancer
Another layer of pressure comes when young men take on caregiving roles after a parent’s or partner’s diagnosis. Studies show that men face unique challenges when stepping into caregiving roles, including:
- Emotional isolation – Men are less likely to open up to friends or seek support.
- Pressure to stay strong – Cultural expectations around masculinity discourage emotional expression.
- Lack of practical support – Healthcare systems and social services are often geared towards female caregivers.
Young male carers often carry this burden in silence, balancing work, relationships, and caregiving without adequate emotional or financial support.
The Emotional and Physical Impact of Testicular Cancer
The effects of testicular cancer extend beyond treatment and recovery. Many men report long-term physical and emotional changes, including:
- Sexual difficulties – Reduced libido, erectile dysfunction, or discomfort during sex.
- Body image issues – Loss of a testicle or physical changes from surgery.
- Fatigue and weakness – Chemotherapy and radiotherapy can cause long-term exhaustion.
- Mental health struggles – Depression, anxiety, and PTSD can emerge after treatment.
It’s not just the man diagnosed who suffers—their partner or family may also feel the strain of adapting to these changes. If communication breaks down or emotional needs aren’t met, the relationship may falter.
Why Therapy Matters for Male Cancer Survivors and Carers
Therapy can play a vital role in helping men navigate the emotional and relational challenges that come with cancer and caregiving. At Male Minds Counselling, we understand the unique pressures that male cancer survivors and carers face. Talking to someone who gets it can help you:
✅ Process feelings of anger, guilt, and isolation.
✅ Manage relationship challenges and sexual difficulties.
✅ Find ways to communicate with your partner more openly.
✅ Learn coping strategies for emotional and physical changes.
✅ Set healthy boundaries when juggling caregiving and personal life.
Cancer doesn’t just affect your body—it affects your sense of self, your relationships, and your future. Seeking help isn’t weakness—it’s a way to rebuild and move forward.
Facing Testicular Cancer as a Man
Being diagnosed with testicular cancer can feel like a punch to the gut. It’s one of the most common cancers in young men, especially those aged 20 to 34, yet it’s rarely talked about openly. For many men, the diagnosis itself isn’t just a health crisis—it’s an identity crisis.
Testicular cancer affects some of the most personal aspects of being a man:
- Sexual function and desire.
- Body image and self-confidence.
- Fertility and the ability to have children.
- Emotional resilience and mental health.
For gay and bisexual men, or men in relationships with other men, testicular cancer presents even more complex challenges. Issues around masculinity, body image, sexual identity, and emotional vulnerability can feel amplified. Add in the pressures of managing work, medication, and daily life, and it’s no wonder many men struggle to cope.
That’s where therapy can make a real difference. At Male Minds Counselling, we understand the unique pressures faced by men with testicular cancer—and the complex relationship dynamics that can emerge when a partner is involved.
Why Testicular Cancer Feels Different for Men
For straight men, testicular cancer can threaten traditional ideas of masculinity—strength, sexual ability, and independence. For gay and bisexual men, these challenges often cut even deeper:
- Body image issues – Losing a testicle or experiencing changes in sexual function can make men feel undesirable or less "manly."
- Fertility worries – For couples considering having children, a cancer diagnosis can feel like a door closing.
- Shame and secrecy – Gay and bi men may already face stigma around their sexuality, and a cancer diagnosis can intensify feelings of vulnerability.
- Sexual difficulties – Reduced libido, erectile dysfunction, and discomfort during sex can strain relationships.
Therapy gives men a space to process these feelings without judgment and work through the emotional toll of physical changes.
How Therapy Can Support Men with Testicular Cancer
Therapy isn’t just about talking—it’s about helping you find ways to cope, rebuild confidence, and adjust to life after diagnosis.
1. Processing the Emotional Impact
A cancer diagnosis brings a flood of emotions:
✔️ Shock and fear.
✔️ Anger at your body for “betraying” you.
✔️ Guilt for feeling like a burden to your partner or family.
✔️ Shame over physical or sexual changes.
Therapy provides a space to unpack these emotions. A therapist can help you explore how you feel without judgment, validate your experiences, and help you make sense of the confusion.
2. Rebuilding Confidence and Body Image
Losing a testicle or experiencing changes in sexual performance can make you feel “less of a man.” For men in gay or bi relationships, the pressure to maintain a certain image or performance level can be intense.
Therapy helps you:
✅ Challenge negative thoughts about your body.
✅ Develop a healthier relationship with your self-image.
✅ Understand that masculinity isn’t defined by physical appearance or sexual performance.
A therapist can also help you explore options for rebuilding confidence, such as discussing prosthetic testicles or adjusting to changes in sexual function.
3. Managing Sexual Challenges in Relationships
Sex after testicular cancer can feel complicated. Changes in libido, erectile dysfunction, and self-consciousness about body changes can create distance between you and your partner. Gay and bi men may feel even more pressure if their relationship is heavily centred on physical connection.
Therapy can help you and your partner:
✔️ Open up about changes in sexual desire and function.
✔️ Adjust sexual expectations without shame or resentment.
✔️ Find new ways to build intimacy and connection.
✔️ Work through anxiety about performance or body image.
Sexual function is often seen as central to masculinity—but therapy can help you shift that mindset and focus on emotional and physical closeness in new ways.
4. Strengthening Communication with Partners
Cancer can strain even the strongest relationships. Partners often want to help but may not know how. Some partners may withdraw emotionally to protect themselves, while others may become overbearing in their attempts to support you.
Therapy can help both you and your partner:
✅ Develop clear and honest communication about needs and boundaries.
✅ Balance caregiving with personal space and independence.
✅ Manage feelings of guilt or helplessness.
✅ Create a new “normal” in the relationship post-diagnosis.
Partners need support too—especially when they’re also managing work, medication schedules, and practical care. Couples therapy offers a space to figure out what works for both of you.
5. Managing Practical and Financial Stress
Cancer doesn’t just affect your health—it impacts your work, finances, and future plans. Many men face challenges like:
- Reduced income from time off work.
- The cost of treatment and medication.
- Navigating benefits and support services.
- Balancing caregiving and professional life.
A therapist can help you:
✅ Work through the stress of managing practical issues.
✅ Develop a plan for balancing work and medical needs.
✅ Access local support services for financial or practical help.
It’s not about “fixing” everything—it’s about helping you feel more in control.
How Therapy Can Support Gay and Bisexual Men Specifically
Gay and bisexual men face additional layers of complexity when it comes to navigating cancer treatment and relationships:
- Fear of discrimination – Some healthcare providers still lack understanding about LGBTQ+ health issues.
- Sexual health and recovery – Changes in libido or function may feel more complex in a relationship with another man.
- Body image pressure – Within gay culture, body image can play a significant role in self-worth and attraction.
- Emotional withdrawal – Gay and bi men may have fewer family or social networks for support, especially if they are not out.
Therapy creates a safe space where you can talk about these issues openly. A therapist who understands the specific pressures faced by LGBTQ+ men can help you navigate these conversations and rebuild emotional and physical confidence.
Supporting Carers and Partners
Partners of men with testicular cancer often feel powerless. They want to help but may not know how. Therapy can also help partners:
- Understand how to provide support without being overbearing.
- Work through feelings of helplessness or frustration.
- Learn to communicate about sexual changes and emotional needs.
- Build emotional resilience as a couple.
Couples therapy creates a space to have these difficult conversations without fear of blame or resentment.
It’s Not Weakness to Ask for Help
Men are often taught to "handle it" on their own—but cancer is not something you need to face alone. Therapy gives you the tools to navigate the emotional and physical challenges of testicular cancer with strength and honesty.
At Male Minds Counselling, we understand the unique pressures faced by men—especially those navigating health issues, relationships, and masculinity. Whether you’re looking for individual support or couples therapy, we’re here to help.
Local Resources and Support in Reading and the UK
Dealing with testicular cancer is not something you have to face alone. There are several local and national resources available to support you, whether you need emotional guidance, practical help, or a safe space to talk about what you’re going through.
Here’s a list of trusted resources that can help:
1. Orchid Fighting Male Cancer
- Support Group: Meets on the last Monday of every month, either face-to-face or virtually.
- Online Support: A large, closed Facebook group for peer support.
- Contact: Email robert.cornes@orchid-cancer.org.uk for more information.
- Website: orchid-cancer.org.uk
2. It’s in the Bag
- Offers support specifically for men with testicular cancer, including survivor events like the Survivor Toolkit Afternoon.
- Contact: 0117 325 9686 (press option 1) or support@itsinthebag.org.uk
- Website: itsinthebag.org.uk
3. Testicular Cancer UK
- A dedicated online community offering support and resources for those affected by testicular cancer.
- Website: testicularcanceruk.com
4. Cancer Research UK
- Provides information and support, including a nurse helpline and online forum (Cancer Chat) for those affected by cancer.
- Helpline: 0808 800 4040
- Website: cancerresearchuk.org
5. Check 'Em Lads
- A large online Facebook group where men can share their experiences with testicular cancer and offer peer support.
- Website: orchid-cancer.org.uk/testicular-cancer-3-2/testicular-cancer-support
6. Testicular Cancer Awareness Foundation
- A non-profit organisation dedicated to raising awareness and supporting those affected by testicular cancer.
- Online Support: Safe online spaces for patients, survivors, and caregivers.
- Website: testicularcancerawarenessfoundation.org
7. Movember UK
- Focuses on improving men’s health, including testicular and prostate cancer, mental health, and suicide prevention.
- Website: uk.movember.com
8. Macmillan Cancer Support
- Provides practical, emotional, and financial support for people with cancer and their families.
- Website: macmillan.org.uk
9. Berkshire Breast Cancer Support Group
- While focused on breast cancer, this group offers valuable peer support and information-sharing for people living with cancer in Berkshire.
- Email: bbcsg@outlook.com
10. NHS Bowel Cancer Screening
- Provides guidance and screening for bowel cancer, along with information about the benefits and risks of screening.
- PDF: Bowel Cancer Screening – The Facts
11. The Derm Review – Skin Cancer Prevention
- A comprehensive guide to preventing skin cancer, including risk factors and early signs.
- Website: thedermreview.com
Taking the First Step
At Male Minds Counselling, we understand that navigating cancer is not just about managing the physical symptoms—it’s about rebuilding your confidence, your relationships, and your sense of self. Therapy gives you a safe space to explore these challenges and find practical ways to cope. Whether you’re dealing with testicular cancer yourself or supporting a partner through it, we’re here to help.
Reach out today to Male Minds Counselling and take the first step toward emotional and physical healing.
Cassim