When you’re stuck in a storm of heavy emotions, intense stress, or impulses to self-harm, your brain isn't wired to think clearly. That’s just human biology. When crisis hits, logic takes a backseat, and panic or exhaustion can take over.
That is exactly why having a Personal Safety Plan (sometimes called a Coping Plan or Crisis Plan) is so useful.
Think of a safety plan like a playbook for your mind. It’s a clear, step-by-step document—written when you’re feeling relatively calm—that tells you exactly what to do, where to go, and who to contact when everything starts to feel out of control.
Here’s how to build a safety plan that actually works for you.
Need Urgent Support Right Now?
If you feel you cannot keep yourself safe right now, don't wait for a plan:
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Call 999 or head to A&E (such as Royal Berkshire Hospital).
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Call NHS 111 (Option 2) for 24/7 urgent mental health support in Berkshire.
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Text SHOUT to 85258 for confidential 24/7 text support.
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Call Samaritans on 116 123 or ChildLine on 0800 1111 (up to age 19).
Step 1: Know Your Early Warning Signs
A safety plan works best if you catch yourself before you hit absolute rock bottom. What are the subtle clues that show your stress levels or urges are rising?
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In your body: Feeling hot, fidgety, tense jaw, racing heart, or struggling to sleep.
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In your behavior: Withdrawing from mates, skipping gym/work/college, gaming all night, drinking more, or getting aggressive.
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In your situation: Having arguments with a partner, parents, or boss; facing financial stress; or feeling isolated.
Example: "I notice that after a row with someone, I get hot, my chest feels tight, and I start getting strong urges to hurt myself. Recognizing this means I need to open my plan straight away."
Step 2: What Has Worked in the Past?
When you’re in a dark space, you forget what usually grounds you. Look back at what has helped you chill out, destress, or take the edge off in the past.
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Playing video games or listening to a specific album.
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Going for a run, lifting heavy, or kicking a football around.
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Spending time with a pet or sitting outside.
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Writing down what’s bothering you or just venting.
Step 3: Practical Ways to Calm, Soothe, or Distract
List quick, accessible actions you can take when things feel overwhelming.
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At Home: Put on a custom "calm down" playlist, blast music through headphones, take a freezing cold shower to reset your nervous system, or focus on a hands-on project.
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Out & About: Put in your AirPods, use a favorite scent or lip balm to ground yourself, or step outside for a brisk walk.
Step 4: Where is Your Safe Space?
When staying in your current environment feels risky, having a predetermined safe haven is crucial.
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In Reading: Head to the Reading Central Library, grab a quiet coffee, sit near the river in Forbury Gardens, or pop into a local venue like Andy's Man Club on a Monday evening.
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Making Your Environment Safer: If you can't leave home, make your space safer. Put away anything you could use to harm yourself, or step away from spaces with higher risks (like kitchens).
Step 5: What Can Others Do to Support You?
A lot of guys struggle with feeling like a burden, or their mates simply don't know how to help. You don't have to spill your deepest secrets to let people support you.
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Tell a mate: "I'm going through a rough patch. Can we go for a walk or play FIFA? You don't need to give advice, just need some company."
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Let a partner or parent know what you need when you're overwhelmed (e.g., quiet time without pressure to talk).
Step 6: Step Outside Yourself—What Would You Tell a Mate?
Guys are often ruthless with themselves while being fiercely supportive of their mates. Turn that perspective around.
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What would you say to your best friend if he came to you feeling this way?
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Remind yourself of grounded truths: "Take it one hour at a time," "I am doing the best I can right now," or "This feeling is temporary, even if it feels permanent."
Step 7: Your Emergency Support Network
Keep a list of numbers saved directly in your phone notes so you don't have to search for them during a crisis:
Personal Contacts
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A trusted mate, partner, brother, or parent.
Local Reading Support
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Andy’s Man Club (Reading): Free peer-to-peer male mental health groups (Mondays at 7 PM).
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No5 Young People’s Counselling: Free support for ages 11–25 in Berkshire.
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Berkshire West Breathing Space: Out-of-hours mental health support (0800 002 9091).
24/7 Helplines
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CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably): 0800 58 58 58 (5 PM–Midnight, tailored for men).
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PAPYRUS HOPELINE247: 0800 068 4141 (for under-35s).
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Samaritans: 116 123 | SHOUT: Text 85258
How to Store Your Plan
Write these headings down in the Notes app on your phone or on a card in your wallet. Keep it somewhere easily accessible so that when things get tough, you don't have to think—you just follow your plan.