Having suicidal thoughts can be overwhelming, confusing, and genuinely terrifying. If you are experiencing them, it is completely understandable if you feel stuck or unsure of where to turn.
In the UK, men and young guys often face immense pressure to "man up," keep things inside, or brush off emotional pain. But holding it in does not make you strong, and experiencing suicidal thoughts does not mean you are weak. It means you are carrying more weight right now than anyone is meant to handle alone.
If you are reading this, please know that you do not have to navigate this darkness by yourself. Support is available right here in Reading and across the UK.
Need Immediate Help?
If you are currently having suicidal thoughts and feel you might act on them right now, please act immediately to stay safe:
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Call 999 for emergency support or go to the nearest A&E department (such as Royal Berkshire Hospital).
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Call Berkshire NHS Crisis Team / NHS 111 (Option 2) for urgent 24/7 NHS mental health support.
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Call Samaritans on 116 123 (Free, confidential, 24/7 for all ages).
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Call ChildLine on 0800 1111 (Free, confidential support for up to age 19).
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Text SHOUT to 85258 for 24/7 confidential text support.
What Are Suicidal Thoughts?
Suicidal thoughts are thoughts or feelings about ending your life or wishing you were no longer alive. They are surprisingly common, especially among young people and men, but they are serious, distressing, and painful to live through.
While we often imagine suicidal thoughts as wanting to actively hurt ourselves, they can take many different forms, including:
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Putting yourself in danger: Engaging in high risk, dangerous behaviour without caring about the consequences.
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Passive wishes to not wake up: Hoping something bad happens to you, or wishing you could go to sleep and never wake up.
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Wanting to disappear: Wishing you could escape your life, job, school, relationships, or mind, even for a little while.
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Asking or expecting harm: Wanting someone else or an outside situation to take your life away.
Why Do We Experience Suicidal Thoughts?
Our brains are wired to survive. When you experience suicidal thoughts, it is usually your brain’s overwhelming reaction to a deeply painful or stressful situation.
When emotional pain, pressure, or trauma reaches a boiling point, your brain seeks a quick way to make the pain stop. If you cannot immediately see a clear way forward, your mind can trick you into thinking that ending your life is the only solution. It is not.
Some common reasons guys experience suicidal thoughts include:
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Wanting difficult feelings to stop: Overwhelming anxiety, depression, grief, or shame.
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Wanting a distressing situation to end: Relationship breakups, academic pressures, job loss, financial stress, or bullying.
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Feeling hopeless: Losing faith in your future, yourself, or the goodness in the world.
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Isolation and feeling unheard: Feeling like no one understands you, or that you are a burden to those around you.
Talking about these thoughts can help rewire that internal narrative, helping your brain realize that there are other ways out of the pain.
A 3 Step Process to Support Yourself
If you find it difficult to talk to someone right now, here is a practical, step by step approach to help you connect with and process what you are feeling.
1. Connecting (Acknowledge Your Pain)
Many guys cope by suppressing their feelings until they explode. Instead, try stepping back and getting curious about your thoughts without judging yourself.
Ask yourself:
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What specific situation or pressure is making me feel this way?
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Is there a specific emotion (like shame, anger, or fear) I want to escape?
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Am I feeling isolated or unheard?
Taking your own feelings seriously is the first step toward getting through them. Even asking yourself these questions can make you feel more grounded.
2. Understanding (Weighing Your Safety Nets)
Look at both sides of what you are experiencing. Listening to your reasons for wanting the pain to end, while also identifying your reasons to live, helps build resilience.
Ask yourself:
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Internal Protectors: What inside me keeps me safe? (e.g., personal values, hopes for the future, things you have not experienced yet, things you would like to see change).
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External Protectors: What outside me keeps me safe? (e.g., family, close mates, a pet, sports team, or support organisations).
3. Assisting (Building Your Action Plan)
When you are in crisis, it is hard to think clearly. Build a quick contact list on your phone or paper before things get worse:
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Personal Allies: A trusted mate, parent, brother, or partner.
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Professional Services:
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CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably): 0800 58 58 58 (5pm to midnight daily, tailored for men).
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PAPYRUS HOPELINE247: 0800 068 4141 (for under 35s).
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Kooth: Online chat and counselling for young people.
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Local Support in Reading
If you are in Reading, you do not have to carry this alone. There are fantastic local services dedicated to listening without judgment:
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No5 Young People’s Counselling (Reading): Free, confidential mental health support and counselling for young people aged 11 to 25 in the RG postcode area.
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Andy’s Man Club (Reading): A free, peer to peer weekly support group for men. A safe space to sit down, grab a brew, and talk, or just listen, with zero pressure.
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Berkshire West Breathing Space: Safe, welcoming out of hours support for adults experiencing mental distress (Call or Text 0800 002 9091).
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Your GP: Booking an urgent appointment with your local Reading GP is often the fastest route to ongoing NHS therapy and specialist mental health services.
Remember: You do not have to go through this on your own, and asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Take it one hour, one minute, or one step at a time. Reach out today.