The Importance of Compassionate Language Around Suicide: A Guide for Men and Guys in Reading

Words carry immense power, especially when it comes to mental health and suicide. The language we use to discuss suicide can either reinforce outdated stigma or create a safe, compassionate environment where men feel empowered to speak up and seek help.

For men and young guys in particular, opening up about mental health is already a significant hurdle. When the language around suicide carries subtle undertones of judgment or criminality, it can make reaching out feel even more daunting. Understanding where certain terms come from and shifting toward more compassionate language is a simple yet vital step in supporting those struggling with suicidal thoughts or grieving a loss.

If you, a friend, or a loved one are in immediate distress or feeling unsafe right now, please reach out for urgent help. You can call 999 or go directly to the Royal Berkshire Hospital A&E department for emergency support. For 24/7 NHS urgent mental health support in Berkshire, call NHS 111 and select Option 2. Confidential listening services are also available around the clock by calling Samaritans free on 116 123, texting SHOUT to 85258 for confidential text support, or calling ChildLine on 0800 1111 for young people up to age 19.

To understand why certain phrases are problematic, it helps to look at the history behind them. Phrases like “committing suicide” are still deeply embedded in everyday conversation, yet many people are unaware of where the phrase originates. Until the Suicide Act of 1961 in England and Wales, suicide was legally classified as a crime. If a person attempted to take their own life and survived, they could face criminal prosecution, fines, or even imprisonment. The word “committed” stems directly from legal terminology, linking the act to committing a crime, such as theft or assault.

It is heartbreaking to reflect on a time when someone experiencing overwhelming emotional despair was treated like a criminal. While society and the medical community have made significant progress in treating mental health with empathy and medical care, the lingering phrase “committed suicide” continues to carry subtle criminal connotations. Continuing to use it can inadvertently reinforce shame, guilt, and stigma for individuals experiencing suicidal thoughts, as well as for families bereaved by suicide.

By replacing outdated terms with kinder, more accurate language, we show respect for those who have died, those who are currently struggling, and the families navigating grief. Instead of saying someone “committed suicide,” more respectful and accurate alternatives include saying they “took their own life,” “ended their life,” or “died by suicide.” Similarly, when discussing a person who survived a crisis, avoiding phrases like “failed suicide attempt” is important, as it subtly frames survival as a failure. Instead, using plain terms like “attempted suicide” or “tried to take their own life” is far more appropriate and compassionate.

Adapting your vocabulary might feel slightly unfamiliar or awkward at first, especially if certain phrases have been part of your everyday language for years. However, words shape culture. When men, friends, sports teams, and workplaces in Reading adopt compassionate language, it helps break down the toxic stigma that keeps so many guys silent during their darkest moments. Using respectful language signals to the people around you that you are a safe, non judgmental person to talk to if they ever find themselves in crisis.

No matter what you are going through, you do not have to carry suicidal thoughts or the grief of suicide bereavement alone. In Reading, Andy’s Man Club offers a free, peer to peer weekly support group for men every Monday at 7 PM, providing a welcoming space to talk openly or simply sit and listen. Young people aged 11 to 25 across Berkshire can access free, confidential counselling through No5 Young People’s Counselling, while local GPs can connect adults with specialist NHS mental health services. For out of hours support, Berkshire West Breathing Space offers dedicated assistance on 0800 002 9091.

On a national level, PAPYRUS HOPELINE247 provides confidential crisis support and practical advice for young people under 35 by calling 0800 068 4141 or texting 88247. CALM, the Campaign Against Living Miserably, offers a helpline tailored specifically for men on 0800 58 58 58 from 5 PM to midnight daily. For those grieving a loss to suicide, Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide provides dedicated peer support and guidance on 0300 111 5065.

Language matters because people matter. By choosing our words with care, we help build a safer, more supportive community where every man in Reading knows that his life has value and that asking for help is a sign of strength.

Suicide, Mental Health and the Language We Use | Support for Men in Reading

Learn why language matters when discussing suicide, suicidal thoughts and bereavement. Mental health and counselling support for men in Reading and Berkshire.

The language we use when talking about suicide, suicidal thoughts and suicide bereavement matters. Words can either reinforce stigma and shame or help create an environment where people feel safer talking about what they are experiencing.

For men and young people, this can be particularly important. Many men have grown up with messages about staying strong, keeping emotions private and dealing with problems alone. Using compassionate, non-judgemental language can help make conversations about suicide less frightening and make it easier for someone to say, “I’m not okay.”

At Male Minds Counselling in Reading, I provide a safe and non-judgemental space for boys and men experiencing suicidal thoughts, emotional distress, grief, bereavement, anxiety, depression, shame, anger, relationship difficulties and overwhelming life circumstances.

Counselling can provide an opportunity to talk about difficult thoughts and emotions without judgement, understand what may be contributing to your distress and explore ways of coping and accessing appropriate support.

I work with clients across Reading, Caversham, Woodley, Tilehurst, Earley, Lower Earley, Wokingham, Pangbourne, Henley-on-Thames, Newbury, Basingstoke and surrounding areas, as well as providing online counselling across the UK.

Talking About Suicide Without Shame

Whether you are experiencing suicidal thoughts yourself, supporting someone you care about, or grieving after a suicide, you do not have to find the right words perfectly. What matters is creating space for honest conversation.

Using phrases such as “died by suicide” rather than “committed suicide”, and “suicide attempt” rather than “failed attempt”, can help move conversations away from judgement and towards compassion.

However, language is only one part of suicide prevention. If someone is in immediate danger or believes they may act on suicidal thoughts, they need urgent professional support rather than counselling alone.

If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts and feel you may act on them, call 999 or attend your nearest A&E department. You can also contact NHS 111 and select Option 2 for urgent mental health support in England. Samaritans can be contacted free on 116 123, 24 hours a day.

If you are looking for ongoing support with your mental health, Male Minds Counselling offers a free 30-minute initial consultation to discuss what you are experiencing and whether counselling may be appropriate.

Why Language Matters When Talking About Suicide: Support for Men in Reading

Male Minds Counselling
NCPS Accredited Counsellor
Reading, Berkshire
Face-to-face and online counselling
malemindscounselling.com
malemindscounselling@gmail.com

 

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