Britain often prides itself on diversity. I keep hearing about EDI, where ever I go. I keep hearing about reasonable adjustments. Yet there is a population so close and yet so unseen that most people could not name a single one of its members. Gypsy, Roma and Traveller boys and men are among the least represented and least understood groups in the country. And within that already invisible world exists an even smaller one — boys and men who think differently, love differently, dream differently. The ones who ask questions that make the elders uncomfortable. The ones who want to heal, to study, to collaborate, or to simply breathe outside of tradition. These are the invisible minority within the invisible minority, and it’s time we talked about them.
According to NHS data, suicide among Gypsy and Traveller men is estimated to be up to six times higher than the national average. Yet few services exist that understand the pressures these men face, or the quiet rebellions that stir among them.
Behind those numbers are untold stories, men who question, who doubt, who want something different. A Traveller man who seeks therapy in secret. A boy who wants to study law instead of laying tarmac. A father who leaves the road to protect his children from violence. They are the ones caught between honour and honesty, between heritage and healing. To understand them is to understand a Britain that has long looked away.
A Brief History and Landscape
To understand the phenomenon of boys and men within Gypsy, Roma and Traveller (GRT) communities who diverge from traditional pathways, it helps to trace the broader history and context of these communities in the United Kingdom.
The term “Gypsy” in the UK historically refers to Romany (or English Romani) Travellers, who trace their origin to medieval Indian-subcontinent migrations and settled in Britain centuries ago.
“Travellers” can also refer to Irish Travellers (who are a distinct ethnic group with separate origins) and other itinerant groups. Many studies amalgamate them under the GRT broad heading, but there is substantial diversity in identities, traditions, languages. For example, a recent lexicographic study found considerable “lexical variation and identity practices” even within East Midlands GRT communities.
According to the UK Census 2021, the number of people identifying as Gypsy or Irish Traveller increased by 17.5% from 2011 to 2021 (to 67,768); adding Roma heritage the total grew by 111,069 to 168,749.
Traditions and social structure
Many GRT communities have historically practiced a mobile or semi-mobile lifestyle: seasonal work (e.g., hop-picking, fairs, horse trading), trades (tinsmithing, hawking), self-employment. Strong community networks, extended family ties, intra-community marriages, strong norms around honour, loyalty, identity, and the preservation of cultural practices.
Over the last decades, many GRT families have been forced into settled housing, council sites or have restricted mobility by legislation and planning policy. A mapping study for England found that knowledge of population numbers is poor and service provision often not based on need.
Health, social and economic inequalities
GRT communities in the UK experience some of the most severe health and social inequalities. A systematic review found significantly worse mental-health outcomes and higher suicide risk compared to the general population. In a national survey, 85% of GRT men were in precarious employment, compared with 19% of White British men. Also, GRT men were over 12 times more likely to have more than two physical health conditions than White British men.
Friends, Families and Travellers
Research on suicide prevention found that GRT suicide rates are estimated at six times or more than the general population. Barriers to health care access are cited: cultural mistrust, low literacy, poor data capture, discrimination, and services that are not culturally tailored.
The “Anomalies” — Boys and Men Who Don’t Fit the Traditional Mould
Within this wider context, there emerges a particular subset of GRT boys and men who do not adhere or do not want to adhere to the more conventional cultural script of their community. These are the “outliers” — men whose identity, values, ambitions or behaviours place them at the margins of their own community. These might include:
Men who reject or question the mobile way of life or the strictly defined gender/trade norms. Men who are entrepreneurial, who want to work in mainstream institutional contexts (education, digital economy), rather than the traditional trades or self-employed stalls or hawking. Men who identify as LGBTQ+, especially gay men or otherwise non-heteronormative identities, within communities where such identities can be highly stigmatised or even invisible.
Men whose mental-health, spiritual or personal development needs lead them outside the community into seeking help from “settled society” therapists, counsellors, or who want to collaborate across the settled/GRT divide. Men who witness or experience injustice, whether discrimination from outside or internal community practices (such as patriarchy, strict gender roles, honour codes) — and feel compelled to challenge or change them.
While research specifically on this subset is sparse, some anecdotal and media accounts illustrate these trajectories: e.g., a gay Romany Gypsy man who married outside, adopted children and works as a paramedic. The Office for National Statistics’ report on “lived experiences” among Gypsies and Travellers notes the section “Embracing new opportunities” and “Identifying as a Gypsy or Traveller today” — hints that identity, roles and pathways are changing or being contested.
Why such men may feel both inside and outside
They are inside by birth, family, cultural roots; but outside in that their aspirations differ. That creates a tension: belonging and identity vs autonomy and difference. They may feel judged by their community (for stepping out) and marginalised by the wider society (because of ethnicity, discrimination). They may also struggle with internalised norms: loyalty to the “road”, expectations of trade, macho codes of masculinity, stigma against showing vulnerability or seeking help. For men who are gay or have non-traditional identity paths, they might face double invisibility: from the external society (which stereotypes GRT men as hyper-masculine) and internal community pressure to conform.
Manifestations and Varieties
Here are some of the different ways this outlier-pattern may manifest in day-to-day life and in the developmental journey of these men.
A young man born into a Traveller family might feel drawn to settled life: formal education, university, a “normal” job, but feels guilt or disloyalty about leaving the family trade. A Romany boy may be encouraged to take up trade like paving/roofing or be self-employed, but instead wants to be an entrepreneur in tech; this may cause friction: seen as “not one of us”, or seen as abandoning tradition. Linguistic, cultural codes may differ; for instance, lexical research shows variation even within GRT speech practices — meaning the young man may be linguistically poised between two worlds.
Traditional masculinity in many Traveller communities emphasises independence, self-employment, being the provider, being physically strong, shutting down emotional vulnerability. However, as national research shows, GRT men show very high levels of anxiety, depression, isolation and suicide risk. In a health-needs assessment (Wakefield) one stakeholder said: “80-90% of the members that I work with struggle with mental health and depression, anxiety. … Men were identified as being at particular risk … cultural expectations (including doing a trade job), finding it difficult to talk about their feelings and to access help.”
For an outlier man who doesn’t embody the trade-provider role, or who seeks therapy, there is potentially a stigma: for being weak, or betraying community norms. The internal pressure to “man up” is strong.
Men from Traveller communities who are gay or bisexual may face severe internal conflict: a major taboo. While there is limited peer-review research, media accounts show there are men in this position who both feel deeply connected to their heritage and simultaneously alienated by its homophobia. Example of open gay Romany man above. This double marginalisation (ethnic minority + sexual minority) means less visibility, less culturally-specific support, more isolation.
Many young GRT men have enormous potential entrepreneurial drive: historically self-employment, trading, resourcefulness are built-in. But when they aim at the mainstream economy (formal employment, digital business, collaborative networks) they may face barriers: low educational attainment (though improving), discrimination from outside, lack of role-models, community suspicion of “settled world”.
An outlier man may want to collaborate with external organisations (for example, a mental-health charity, a tech company, a community-interest social enterprise) but find his community lacks the recognition or systems to support that path.
For a man who experiences mental health issues, or who simply wants to grow or heal from trauma (which may include discrimination, homelessness, debt, exclusion) it may feel natural to seek help outside of his community — but the community may not fully understand, accept, or facilitate that. Research shows GRT people have poorer access to mental-health services and mainstream services often fail to engage. Therefore these men may feel two-fold marginalised: by their community for turning to “outside help”, and by services for not being culturally fit or tailored.
Taboo and Unspoken Realities
In exploring these “anomalous” men, there are several taboo or less-spoken areas worth highlighting:
Shame, honour and risk of ostracism: Within some Traveller communities, stepping outside norms (e.g., leaving the trade, refusing to follow the mobile lifestyle, being gay) may lead to social ostracism, shame, family conflict. The need for honour (especially male honour) can silence help-seeking.
“Once you have the name of a cheater, that’s it … you lose all respect.” (Traveller woman via media on male reputation) This applies not only to infidelity but to any behaviour seen as “betrayal” of community norms.
The hidden struggle of mental health: Men may hide depression, anxiety, trauma behind the façade of toughness, independence and mobility. Mobility matters: constant moving, instability of site, precarious accommodation add huge stress and rootlessness. The review states: “The inability to live life according to the cultural ideals that have been a formative part of one’s identity can be very damaging to one’s mental health.” For a young man trying to both belong and break free, the internal conflict can be a heavy load.
Education, aspiration, and identity guilt: If the young man goes to college/university, he may feel he is leaving behind his “road” roots or being accused of being “settled-world”. Family may feel abandoned. On the other hand, staying bound to the trade may limit his aspirations. The 2022 ONS bulletin states “Embracing new opportunities” is a dimension of identity for Travellers.
Intersectionality of ethnicity, social class, sexuality, mental health: Men who are GRT and gay and aspiring to mainstream careers carry multiple layers of marginalisation. There is very little research on LGBTQ+ GRT men, so it’s a largely hidden space. A Reddit thread by an undergraduate flagged that.
Collaboration vs community loyalty tension: Some of these men may seek collaboration (with charities, external services, business networks) but feel they cannot do so without being labelled as betraying the community or being ‘too settled’. They may risk loss of identity as a GRT man. There is a tension: Do I engage with external world and risk being cut off, or stay inside and limit my growth?
Therapy, Support and What Helps
Given all this, how can therapy and support be tailored for these men, especially those who are “outliers” within the GRT community? Here are some reflections, drawing both from research and therapeutic wisdom.
A. Cultural competence & humility
- Therapists need to understand GRT lives: mobile/law-site issues, mistrust of authority, the role of honour, trade-work, patriarchy, collectivism. Research emphasises the “accessibility mismatch” between health services and GRT communities.
- Therapists working with a GRT man should inquire gently about his identity, community context, trade/family expectations, what “belonging” means to him, what “leaving” or “difference” might cost.
- The therapist should also understand the internal conflict of the “anomaly”: someone who belongs and yet diverges.
B. Creating safe spaces for identity exploration
- For men who feel “other” — whether by aspiration, sexuality, mental health needs — therapy offers a space to process guilt, shame, loyalty, ambition and fear of being cut off.
- For example, a gay Traveller man may need to explore his heritage, his dreams, the cost of “coming out”, how to reconcile two identities: GRT and LGBTQ+. Therapy needs awareness of both ethnic and sexual minority stress.
- Encourage narratives of multi-identity: “I’m Traveller and I’m also entrepreneur/creative/queer.” The therapy can help integrate these rather than force a binary.
C. Addressing masculinity, emotion and vulnerability
- Many GRT men internalise the code: men don’t show vulnerability, they provide, they are strong. Therapy can help unpack the cost of that code: isolation, untreated trauma, self-medication, suicidal ideation.
- The research in Wakefield found men identified as at particular risk because of difficulty talking about feelings and accessing help.
- Therapists might introduce metaphors relatable to GRT men: e.g., “In your caravan of identity, you have to maintain the roof and the wheels — who maintains you when you’re broken?”.
D. Supporting entrepreneurship, transition and autonomy
- If the man desires to step into entrepreneurship or “settled world” work, therapy can support this transition: e.g., addressing internal fears, family expectations, community backlash, imposter feelings.
- Also, exploring systemic barriers: discrimination outside, educational gaps, site-accommodation issues, financial mistrust (which may resonate with your own background in debt/homelessness, etc).
- Building a plan that honours roots (community, heritage, trade skills) while enabling new pathways. For example: leveraging trade/self-employment skills into digital business, or building bridges between GRT networks and settled networks.
E. Community-aware therapy and service design
- For support services: co-production with GRT community is vital. Research suggests that services designed and delivered alongside GRT people are more successful.
- Therapists or services might partner with GRT-led organisations, visiting sites, offering outreach (instead of expecting men to attend clinics). For example, the suicide-prevention project in West Yorkshire used outreach via gyms, churches and community organisations.
- Services should address practical barriers: literacy, mobility, trust, scheduling (men working self-employed/trades may not be able to attend typical 9-5 sessions), and cultural acceptability.
Wisdom and Reflections: Navigating the Paradox of Belonging and Becoming
Here are some deeper reflections and “out-of-the-box” ideas drawn from combining research, therapeutic insight and lived-experience patterns.
Belonging ≠ stagnation
A man from a GRT community may feel that honour lies in staying in the caravan, continuing the trade, following tradition. But we might reframe: “Belonging does not mean stagnation.” It is possible to honour your heritage while innovating your path. The caravan becomes a metaphor for home, roots — but the wheels can turn, the route can change.
The outsider within
An outlier boy or man often carries two identities: part of GRT who knows the codes, the language, the community lore — and part of the “outside world” who wants to cross boundaries. This ‘insider-outsider’ vantage point can be a gift: he can act as a bridge between communities, a translator of worlds. Therapy can nurture that reframing: you are not a traitor, you are a bridge-builder.
Systemic wounds and personal healing
The high levels of anxiety, depression, suicide, discrimination facing GRT men are not just personal problems, they are systemic wounds. For the anomalous man, there is a double burden: the personal conflict and the community’s structural marginalisation. Therapeutic work therefore may include both personal healing (trauma, shame, identity) and activation (how to use one’s difference as strength, how to engage in advocacy, entrepreneurship, community design). My own background in homelessness, debt, education hardship — gives me a unique empathy to support such men in naming these wounds and converting them into purpose.
Taboo as portal to growth
The unspoken areas (e.g., male vulnerability, gay sexuality in GRT communities, leaving the road, wanting settled life) are taboo for a reason: they challenge core identities, comfort zones, power structures. But taboo doesn’t mean forbidden permanently, it means unnavigated. Therapy can open a portal: “what happens if you talk about the thing no one wants to mention?” It might reveal hidden strengths, new paths, unexpected alliances.
Community transformation through outliers
Finally: these “anomalous” men are not simply deviant or outside the community; they have the potential to be innovators and change-agents within the GRT world. For example, a young man who develops a mental-health peer network for Traveller men, or an entrepreneur who creates a fair-trading platform for GRT artisans, or an openly gay Traveller man who becomes a role model for LGBTQ+ youth in the community. Therapy can help him imagine not just his individual change but how his difference can serve the community.
Practical Guide for Therapists and Practitioners
Here are some practical pointers for working with GRT-men (especially these “outliers”) or for services designing support:
- Explore cultural values: ask about his family’s trade history, mobility lifestyle, sense of ‘road’ or ‘site’, what identity means to him.
- Ask about his “difference”: gently explore how he feels he fits or doesn’t fit in the community; what aspirations he has outside tradition; what loyalty/pressure he experiences.
- Map the intersectional aspects: e.g., ethnic identity (GRT), social class, trade/self-employment, education level, mobility/housing status, sexuality, mental-health history, trauma.
- Validate dual identities: You might say “You’re part of the Traveller community AND you’re forging a new path, both are real.”
- Work with metaphor & narrative: The caravan, the road, the trade, the stopping place, the fair — all metaphors for identity, movement, home, stopping-to-pause. Use these in therapy.
- Address masculinity & vulnerability: Encourage exploration of what being a man means in his community, what expectations he carries, what he might want to choose differently.
- Facilitate bridging: Help connect him to external networks (mentors, business-start programmes, LGBTQ+ Traveller groups if relevant, peer support) while maintaining his sense of cultural belonging.
- Support community-connected work: If possible, involve GRT-led organisations, peer workers, outreach; reduce the “them/about you” power imbalance in therapy.
- Advocate and liaison: Recognise systemic barriers (housing, site provision, education, discrimination) and be prepared to liaise, advocate, refer — your role may stretch beyond conventional therapy.
- Plan for transition: If the man is moving from trade to formal employment, or from a site to settled housing, or from hiding his sexuality to openness — map the logistics, supports, losses, gains. Transitions can trigger grief for the old way, and stress about the new.
- Encourage legacy thinking: Ask “What kind of man do you want to be in your community? What kind of path could you leave for younger Travellers, for your siblings, your cousins?” This helps anchor ambition in purpose.
In British society, GRT men, especially those who diverge from tradition — often remain invisible. Services do not always recognise their needs; community narratives do not always allow space for difference; mainstream culture often stereotypes them. Yet, within this space of tension lies profound potential.
For the man born into a caravan but dreaming of digital business, for the man who is gay and Traveller, for the man who watches injustice in his community and wants to help rather than turn away, his is a story of belonging and becoming. His therapy is not merely about “fitting in” or “leaving behind”; it’s about creating a new path that honours both his roots and his wings.
As a practitioner, my role of both Rafiki and guide: holding his story, holding his pain, and inviting him to leap. To support him in naming the unseen rules, mastering the cultural currents, and refusing to let his difference be a trap rather than a gateway.
“He was born on the road, his wheels still turning—but inside, he imagines building a bridge, not breaking the caravan.” My goal is that our work with these boys and men can help dismantle shame, open hidden doors, and enable them to serve both self and community from a place of authenticity and strength.
Supporting GRT Men Who Dare to Be Different — Male Minds Counselling
At Male Minds Counselling, we understand that Gypsy, Roma and Traveller (GRT) boys and men who step outside traditional pathways face unique pressures. From navigating community expectations to coping with isolation, anxiety, or suppressed identity, these young men often carry burdens unseen by wider society.
Our counselling approach is culturally sensitive, trauma-informed, and tailored to men. We provide a safe, confidential space for GRT men to explore:
- Mental health challenges, including anxiety, depression, and stress
- Conflicts between heritage and personal aspirations
- Identity and sexuality, including LGBTQ+ experiences within GRT communities
- Career, education, and entrepreneurial ambitions
- Building resilience, self-esteem, and healthy emotional expression
Therapy isn’t about abandoning your roots — it’s about honouring your heritage while forging your own path. We work with men to reconcile belonging and difference, manage the pressures of traditional masculinity, and develop strategies for growth, healing, and empowerment.
Why Choose Male Minds Counselling
- Specialist in men’s mental health and GRT community awareness
- Tailored sessions for young men and adults navigating dual identities
- Flexible appointments: in-person in Reading, Wokingham, Henley, Theale, or online
- Practical, empathetic, and strengths-based therapy approach
You don’t have to walk this road alone. Whether you’re a GRT man seeking guidance, a parent concerned for your son, or someone struggling with identity and belonging, we provide support that meets you where you are — respectfully, safely, and effectively.
Get in touch with Male Minds Counselling today:
malemindscounselling.com
Reading | Wokingham | Henley | Theale | Online sessions available
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