Male Sex Trafficking | Male Survivors of Sexual Assault
Did you know that boys as young as 8 years old have been bought, sold, and sexually exploited throughout history? AND it is happening in Britain TODAY. You seem surprised, come on now. Let us not be naive. Most people assume girls are the main victims because their innocence or purity has historically been treated as a commodity. Boys, on the other hand, were often overlooked, which made them easier to exploit. Across the world, for centuries, boys have been used as sexual slaves by those in power.
If you’ve ever watched Spartacus: Blood and Sand on the BBC, you might remember the gladiators, young men trained to fight for the entertainment of wealthy elites. The show, while dramatised, doesn’t shy away from how these boys were controlled, humiliated, and exploited sexually by senators and other powerful figures. That’s exactly what I mean when I talk about boys being trafficked and sexually exploited. It’s not just historical fiction, it’s a reflection of a pattern that has existed throughout history and still exist.
When we talk about trafficking, most people picture women and girls. But history tells a more complicated story. Across cultures and centuries, young males have also been traded, controlled, and used for the pleasure or power of older men.
In imperial China, during periods such as the Han dynasty and later dynasties, historical records describe male favourites kept by emperors and wealthy elites. The story of Emperor Ai and Dong Xian, recorded in the Book of Han, gave rise to the phrase “cut sleeve,” which became a literary symbol of male same-sex intimacy. While some of these relationships were romanticised in poetry, others reflected profound power imbalances where young men had little agency.
In parts of South Asia, including areas of present-day Pakistan and northern India, practices such as bacha bazi have involved boys being dressed as dancers and sexually exploited by powerful men. This is not ancient mythology. It has been documented in modern investigative journalism and human rights reports.
The point is not to sensationalise history. The point is this: male sexual exploitation is not a Western invention, not a recent phenomenon, and not biologically impossible. It has existed wherever power, poverty, and silence have intersected. And many of those boys and men do not even realise they have been trafficked or sexually exploited, and the mental and psychological impact on them forces many of them to either die by suicide, turn dark, or live in shame and self-hatred.
What I Mean When I Say Boys Are Sexually Trafficked
When I say boys are sexually trafficked, I am not only talking about kidnappings or dramatic movie scenes. I am talking about situations where a boy is used for sex by someone who has more power than him and where control is involved. Including by women while they are underage. Not just men. Many men who have come into my counselling room in Reading have shared how they lost their virginity under the age of 16 to women between 18-50.
That control might look different in different situations. Sometimes it is obvious. A boy is moved from one place to another. He is told when to eat, where to sleep, who to see. He is threatened if he refuses sex. He might be beaten. His passport might be taken. He might owe money that he can never realistically repay.
But often it is not that obvious. Sometimes a boy is homeless. An older man offers him somewhere to stay. Food. Clothes. Protection. Then slowly sex becomes part of the “deal.” The boy might not call it trafficking. He might call it survival. But if he cannot safely say no, that is not a free choice.
Sometimes it happens online. A boy is groomed through gifts, gaming credits, attention, praise. He is asked for pictures. Then more pictures. Then videos. Then he is blackmailed. “If you do not send more, I will send these to your family.” He may never leave his bedroom, but he is still being controlled and exploited.
Sometimes a boy is recruited into what looks like work. Modelling. Dancing. Acting. Escorting. He might even be paid at first. But once someone else controls the bookings, the money, the transport, the rules, and he cannot walk away without consequences, that is exploitation.
Sometimes it happens inside families. A relative arranges access to him. Sometimes it happens through gangs. Sometimes through religious figures. Sometimes through people who present themselves as mentors or partners. It does not always involve chains. It almost always involves power. I know many do not want to talk about this, but religious institutions are breeding grounds for predators looking for boys to sexually exploit.
One of the reasons male sexual trafficking is misunderstood is because boys often do not look like what people expect a victim to look like. He might look tough. He might look angry. He might look sexually experienced. He might even brag about what is happening to him because admitting fear feels worse. Some boys believe they should have been able to stop it. They tell themselves they were strong enough. Big enough. Old enough. They think if they did not fight harder, then it must have been partly their fault.
Others convince themselves they chose it. They say, “I needed the money.” Or “I wanted the attention.” Or “It was better than being on the street.” But needing to survive is not the same as freely choosing.
Another thing people miss is that boys are often exploited alongside other forms of control. He might be forced into criminal activity. He might be dealing drugs. He might be stealing. He might get arrested. Now he looks like an offender, not a victim. The sexual exploitation gets buried under the criminal record. And because society struggles to see boys as vulnerable, professionals sometimes miss it too.
It Does Not Always Feel Like Trauma at First
One of the most confusing parts for male survivors is that it does not always feel traumatic in the moment. Sometimes it feels exciting at first. Sometimes it feels flattering. Sometimes it feels like belonging. Sometimes the boy believes he is in a relationship.
Only later does the confusion start. The anxiety. The shame. The anger that has no clear target. The numbness during sex. The need to prove masculinity. The feeling of being used. Many men who were trafficked as boys do not use the word trafficking for years. Some never do. They say things like, “It was just a messed up situation.” Or “I got in with the wrong crowd.” Or “I was wild back then.” But when you strip it back, there was control. There was pressure. There was an imbalance of power. There was sex he could not truly refuse. That is what I mean.
If you are reading this, one of several things may be true. You may have experienced something similar and never had language for it. You may know it happens but feel frustrated that no one takes it seriously. Or you may be sceptical, convinced that boys and men cannot be trafficked in the same way as girls. I am writing not to provoke outrage. It is written to widen the lens and speak to male trafficking victims.
If you have been sexually exploited, trafficked, groomed, or used for someone else’s gain, you may never have used those words to describe your experience. You may have told yourself a different story. You may have called it survival, bad luck, a phase, or something you chose. But if your choices were shaped by pressure, fear, manipulation, threats, dependency, or control, then what happened to you matters. It deserves to be named properly.
As I said, when most people hear the words sex trafficking, they imagine women and girls. That reality exists, but it is not the whole picture. Males account for a significant proportion of trafficking victims worldwide. The United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime reports that males make up around 40% of identified victims of human trafficking globally. Research from the Rights Lab at the University of Nottingham has highlighted how boys and men who are sexually exploited are frequently underidentified and undersupported. The problem is not that male victims are rare. The problem is that they are often unseen.
You may have grown up with the message that men are supposed to be strong, dominant, and in control. That belief alone makes it incredibly difficult for many male survivors to recognise themselves as victims. If you were physically bigger than the person who exploited you, you might have told yourself that you could have stopped it. If you were paid, even minimally, you might have convinced yourself that it was a transaction. If you did not fight back, you may have assumed that means you consented. None of those assumptions account for psychological control, grooming, or fear.
Sex trafficking does not always involve chains or kidnapping. It often begins with promises. Someone may have offered you stability, protection, money, housing, affection, or opportunity. They may have made you feel special or chosen. Over time, the expectations shifted. You may have been asked to perform sexual acts, provide sexual access, create images or videos, or meet clients. You may have felt unable to say no because you depended on them financially, emotionally, or practically. Debt, loyalty, fear of exposure, threats to your family, or threats about your immigration status may have kept you compliant. When compliance is extracted through pressure and manipulation, it is not genuine consent.
Many male survivors do not initially identify what happened to them as exploitation because they normalised it. If sexual access was linked to survival, shelter, drugs, money, or belonging, it can feel transactional rather than abusive. Some men describe feeling lucky at the time. Lucky to have income. Lucky to be wanted. Lucky to have somewhere to stay. It can take years to recognise that being given something does not cancel out being controlled.
The effects of sexual exploitation do not always look the way people expect. Trauma in men often presents externally rather than internally. Instead of visible anxiety or tears, it can show up as anger, irritability, aggression, or risk taking. You may find yourself getting into fights or reacting disproportionately to minor stress. What looks like aggression from the outside can actually be a nervous system that has been trained to stay on high alert.
You might also experience emotional numbness. Sex may feel mechanical or detached. Intimacy may feel uncomfortable or unsafe. You may struggle to trust partners, or you may avoid close relationships entirely. Some men experience compulsive sexual behaviour, while others withdraw from sex altogether. You may question your sexuality or feel confused about what your body responded to during exploitation. It is important to understand that physiological responses during abuse do not equal consent. The body can react automatically under stress, and that does not mean you wanted what happened.
Shame is one of the heaviest burdens male survivors carry. You may believe you should have known better. You may think you were foolish or weak. If you were criminalised for things you did while being exploited, such as prostitution, drug offences, or immigration breaches, that can deepen the shame. Many male survivors encounter authorities first as offenders rather than victims. That experience reinforces the idea that you were responsible. Being treated as a perpetrator does not mean you were not exploited.
There are also systemic barriers that make it harder for men to seek help. Early anti trafficking frameworks, including initial Trafficking in Persons reports produced by the United States Department of State, focused primarily on women and girls. Although awareness has grown, many services still lack gender specific support for men. Professionals may overlook signs in boys and men because of unconscious assumptions about masculinity. You may have internalised those same assumptions yourself.
Counselling can help, but not in the way films portray therapy. It is not about forcing you to relive everything or labelling you in ways that feel uncomfortable. It is about creating a space where you can speak without being judged, doubted, or minimised. Many men have never told the full story out loud. Simply putting the experience into words, at your own pace, can begin to reduce its power.
A good therapist will help you understand your reactions as survival responses rather than personal flaws. Instead of asking what is wrong with you, counselling shifts the focus to what happened to you. Anger, numbness, sexual confusion, avoidance, or hyper independence are not signs of broken masculinity. They are adaptations that once helped you cope.
Counselling can also help rebuild a sense of control. Trafficking removes agency. In therapy, you decide what to share, when to share it, and what goals to work towards. That restoration of choice is psychologically significant. Over time, shame can be challenged and reframed. You can begin to separate responsibility from survival. You can learn how trauma affects the brain and body, which often reduces self blame.
For many men, practical stability comes first. Work and income may feel more urgent than emotional healing. That is understandable. However, unresolved trauma often resurfaces later, sometimes when life appears stable on the surface. Difficulties in relationships, sudden anger, depression, substance use, or emotional detachment can emerge years after the exploitation has ended. Counselling provides a place to address those issues before they damage the parts of your life you are trying to build.
You do not have to call yourself a victim to benefit from support. You do not have to be certain that what happened qualifies as trafficking. If thinking about that period of your life brings tension, shame, confusion, or avoidance, that is enough reason to explore it with someone safe.
Being sexually exploited does not strip you of your masculinity. Being manipulated does not make you weak. Surviving under coercion does not make you complicit. What happened to you reflects the actions of someone who chose to exploit vulnerability. It does not define your worth.
Male survivors have been overlooked for too long, but overlooked does not mean unimportant. If any part of this chapter resonates with you, that is not accidental. You deserve support that recognises your experience fully and seriously. Healing is not about erasing the past. It is about reclaiming your sense of self from it.
Does it all sound like bull?
If you have read this far and something in what you have read felt close to home, there is a good chance you are not sitting there calmly analysing it. You might be unsettled. You might be irritated. You might have skimmed certain parts. You might have felt a tightness in your chest and not known why. That reaction matters.
You might be thinking, this sounds familiar, but I still would not call it trafficking. That word feels too big. Too dramatic. Too final. You may prefer other words. Survival. Hustle. A messy period. A bad relationship. A stupid phase. It is common to resist the label. Accepting it can feel like admitting something was done to you, and that can feel like weakness. Resistance does not mean you are in denial. It means your mind has been protecting you in the way it knows how.
You might also feel exposed. When someone describes anger, numbness, sexual confusion, or shame in detail, it can feel uncomfortable. Almost intrusive. You might think, how does he know that? Or you might feel seen in a way that makes you want to shut the book. That urge to pull away is understandable. When you have survived by keeping things contained, being understood too quickly can feel unsafe.
You may have felt relief while reading, followed immediately by fear. Relief because something finally makes sense. Fear because if it makes sense, then it means it was real. And if it was real, then maybe it affected you more than you allowed yourself to admit. That can open a door you have kept firmly closed.
There is also something else that is rarely spoken about. You might remember parts of the experience that were not entirely negative. You might remember moments of affection, attention, excitement, or even arousal. You might have felt wanted. You might have cared about the person who exploited you. That mixture can create deep confusion. If you experienced sexual arousal during exploitation, you may carry intense shame about that. It is important to say clearly that the body can respond automatically under pressure or manipulation. Physical response is not the same as consent. Mixed feelings do not cancel out exploitation. Human beings can feel attachment to people who harm them. That does not make you complicit.
You might also be angry reading this. Angry at the idea of being described as a victim. Angry at the suggestion that something harmed you. Angry that someone is trying to frame your story in a certain way. Anger is often a sign that something important has been touched. It can be protective. It can say, I am not weak. I survived. That part of you deserves respect. Surviving required strength. Naming harm does not erase that strength.
Another layer that may have surfaced is grief. Not just grief for what happened, but grief for what you lost. You may have lost time. Trust. Simplicity. Innocence. Opportunities. A sense of safety in your own body. Some men do not consciously access grief because it feels too heavy. Instead, it shows up as restlessness or irritability. If sadness feels unfamiliar or uncomfortable, that does not mean it is not there.
You may also be calculating risk. If I admit this, what happens next? Do I have to tell someone? Do I have to report it? Will this affect my partner, my children, my job, my immigration status? It is important to say clearly that seeking counselling does not require you to take legal action. Healing does not demand public disclosure. You are allowed to process privately. You are allowed to move at your own pace. You are allowed to decide who knows and who does not.
You might also still feel alone, even after reading something written directly to male survivors. You might think, I still do not know anyone else like me. The silence around male sexual exploitation creates that illusion. But silence does not equal rarity. Many men carry similar stories quietly. The lack of visibility says more about stigma than about numbers.
There may also be a small flicker of hope. Perhaps something in you recognises that certain struggles in your life now might be connected to what happened then. That recognition can feel fragile. You might worry that if you look at it too closely, everything will unravel. Healing does not happen in one dramatic moment. It happens in small, steady steps. Often it begins simply with curiosity rather than certainty.
If you are still unsure whether your experience “counts,” consider this. If there was pressure, manipulation, control, fear, dependency, or an imbalance of power that limited your ability to freely choose, then your experience deserves compassion. You do not need to win a comparison contest with other people’s suffering. Pain does not have to be extreme to be real.
You are not required to adopt an identity you do not want. You are not required to call yourself a victim if that word feels wrong. Some men prefer the word survivor. Some prefer no label at all. What matters is not the label. What matters is whether you are carrying something that continues to affect your life.
If reading this stirred something in you, that is not weakness. It is awareness. And awareness does not make you smaller. It gives you options. You survived in the way you knew how. That deserves recognition. If you decide, at some point, to explore what it cost you to survive that way, you deserve support that takes you seriously as a man, not as a stereotype.
Whatever you are feeling right now, even if it is confusion or anger, it makes sense in the context of what you have lived through. You are not strange for reacting. You are not broken for struggling. And you are not alone, even if it has felt that way for a long time.
Support for Men in Reading and How Male Minds Counselling in Reading Can Help
If you are reading this and something has connected with your own life, you do not have to work it out on your own. At Male Minds Counselling, I work specifically with boys and men. That means you do not have to explain why it feels harder to talk as a man. You do not have to justify why you stayed silent. You do not have to defend your anger, your numbness, or your confusion.
My practice is based in Reading on Castle Street opposite Sweeney Todd, and I offer a confidential space where male survivors of sexual exploitation, trafficking, grooming, or sexual assault can speak openly without being minimised or stereotyped.
You will not be rushed into labels. You will not be forced to call yourself a victim.
You will not be pushed to report anything unless there is a safeguarding risk. What we will do is slow things down.
We will look at how what happened then may still be affecting you now. That might show up as anger you cannot control. Difficulty with intimacy. Shame that sits in your stomach. Compulsive behaviour. Emotional shutdown. Relationship problems. Anxiety that makes no sense on the surface. Or simply a sense that something is unresolved.
Counselling is not about reliving everything in graphic detail. It is about helping you understand your reactions as survival responses rather than personal flaws. It is about separating responsibility from what was done to you. It is about rebuilding a sense of control.
Many men come to therapy years after the exploitation has ended. Often they come because of something else. Relationship breakdown. Work stress. Depression. Anger. Only later do we realise that earlier experiences are still shaping how they see themselves and the world.
You do not have to be certain that what happened “counts” as trafficking to reach out. If there was pressure, manipulation, dependency, or an imbalance of power, and it still affects you, that is enough. Male survivors have been invisible for too long. That does not mean you are invisible here. If you are ready to talk, or even if you are just considering it, you can contact Male Minds Counselling for an initial conversation. You do not have to carry this alone anymore.
Support Specifically for Male Survivors in the UK
- SurvivorsUK – Provides confidential support, one‑to‑one counselling, group work, helpline, webchat and SMS chat for boys, men and non‑binary people who have experienced unwanted sexual activity.
Webchat & SMS: 07860 031252 (12 pm–8 pm)
Helpline: 0808 801 0332 (Mon–Fri, 10 am–12 pm)
Website: survivorsuk.org - Safeline – Specialist support for male survivors of sexual violence, including a dedicated National Male Survivor Helpline and online support by phone, text or webchat, with trained professionals experienced in male trauma.
National Male Survivor Helpline: 0808 800 5005
Email: office@safeline.org.uk - National Association for People Abused in Childhood (NAPAC) – Offers a free confidential support line and information for male survivors of childhood abuse, including sexual abuse.
Support Line: 0808 801 0331 - Operation Emotion – A charity focused on peer support, trauma‑informed group work and connection for adult male survivors of sexual abuse.
- Rape Crisis England & Wales – Provides general support for survivors of sexual violence, including signposting for men and boys to specialist services, and operates a 24/7 Rape & Sexual Abuse Support Line.
Support Line: 0808 500 2222
Additional UK Support & Resources
- 1in6.uk / Mankind UK – A collaboration of UK charities offering information and signposting specifically for men and boys affected by unwanted sexual experiences (this includes trauma, abuse and exploitation).
- Specialised Male Support — SARAC (Sexual Abuse Rape Advice Centre) – Offers a safe space, resources, support and a confidential helpline for males who have experienced sexual abuse.
Helpline: 01283 517185
Wider Support That Can Still Help
Some services do not specialise only in male survivors but can connect you with help and supportive professionals:
- The Survivors Trust – A national membership network with many member organisations that support survivors of sexual abuse, including boys and men.
- Samaritans – Emotional support available 24/7 if you are struggling or in distress, regardless of the cause.
Helpline: 116 123 (free in the UK) - Modern Slavery & Exploitation Helpline – If you believe trafficking or exploitation is currently happening to you or someone else, this UK government‑linked helpline operates 24/7 for reporting and information: 08000 121 700.
Tips for Using Support Services
- If calling feels too direct, most services offer webchat, SMS or email options — choose the method that feels safest for you.
- You do not need to have a “perfect label” for what happened to you to access help. Many services support anyone affected by unwanted sexual experiences, trauma, or exploitation.
- Calling a helpline doesn’t commit you to anything — it’s simply a confidential space to talk and be heard, even if you are unsure what to say.
Cassim