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If he hated what his father did to him, why on earth would he repeat it? The Impact of Growing Up With a Violent Dad On A Boy

Why do some men repeat the very violence they hated from their fathers? Research shows mothers may hit more often, but when fathers are violent, the impact on boys is deeper and long-lasting. This blog explores what “violent father” really means, why boys often minimise maternal abuse but vividly remember paternal violence, and how a father’s aggression shapes identity, masculinity, and relationships for life. Most importantly, it unpacks the painful question: If he hated it so much, why does he repeat it?

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What Is a Twin Flame? From Ancient Origins to Narcissistic and Bipolar Relationship Dynamics

A twin flame is a spiritual concept that describes an intense soul connection between two people, often believed to be two halves of the same soul split into two bodies. The idea is that twin flames mirror each other’s strengths, weaknesses, and unresolved wounds, which makes the connection feel magnetic but also deeply challenging. Unlike a soulmate (who is often framed as a harmonious companion), a twin flame is said to push you into personal growth, healing, and transformation—sometimes through conflict and separation.

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Why Teenage Boys & Men Self-Harm and How to Get Help

Self-harm among boys and young men often hides in plain sight. What looks like aggression, “accidents” or risk-taking? It might be a cry for help. My latest Substack post explores how the NHS assesses such cases, the hidden forms self-harm men use, and why so many suffer in silence. Consider this: around 1 in 10 young men (16–24) have self-harmed at some point, and nearly 9% of adult men (16–74) have done so in their lifetime. These figures likely miss a lot, especially when self-harm shows up as punching walls, over-exercising, dangerous drinking, or risky stunts. The truth is men are hurtin, but not always where we expect to look. (Source: cassimkaweesa.substack.com) From a psychotherapeutic viewpoint, self-harm often serves as an emotional release when boys or men aren’t allowed or can’t find words to express pain. It’s not attention-seeking; it’s coping. Real words from a Reddit user: “Yeah I’m sorry… self-harm is normally portrayed as something girls do… I know a lot of men who self-harm struggle with this stereotype and lack of awareness.” They’re not alone and neither are you. If any of this resonates, reach out. Speak to your GP, call Samaritans or Mind, or even drop me at Male Minds Counselling to book an intial free 15 min consultation. You’re not weak for asking for help, even if you think you don’t have the words. Let’s break the silence together. #MensMentalHealth #MentalHealthAwareness #SelfHarmAwareness #BreakTheStigma #ItsOkayToTalk #EndTheSilence #TeenBoysMatter #YoungMensHealth #BoyTalks #StrongerNotSilent #MaleMentalHealth #YouAreNotAlone #ReachOut #HealingJourney #SpeakUpForMentalHealth #TogetherWeHeal
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What Is Coming Out? Do I Have to Come Out? And Am I Even Gay, Bi, Bi-curious or Queer

Coming out isn’t just saying “I’m gay” or “I’m bi.” It’s choosing visibility in a world that assumes you’re straight.

But here’s the truth:

  • You don’t have to tell everyone.

  • You can take your time.

  • And it’s okay if your identity changes as you learn more about yourself.

For some men, coming out brings freedom. For others, it brings risk. For all, it’s never just a single moment — it’s a journey you’ll walk again and again.

If you’ve ever wondered:
❓ Am I really gay, bi, or queer?
❓ Do I even need to come out?
❓ Will my friends treat me differently?
…then this is for you.

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